Tabula Rasa
by livininthesky
Summary: "Someday you'll be in love too and then you'll understand. When you love someone, you always give them second chances because you know they deserve a fresh start just as much as anybody else." EClare with some Peter/Darcy
1. Chapter 1

_tabula rasa (noun): an absence of preconceived notions or predetermined goals; **a clean slate.**_

"PETER?" cried 12-year-old Clare in shock as Darcy walked into their room. "You're dating PETER?"

Darcy glared at her. "Were you spying on me again, brat?" she snapped angrily. "It's none of your business what I do or I date, all right?"

"But PETER?" Clare asked, unable to get over her confusion. "After everything he did to you, how can you be with him?" She still remembered the terrified look on her sister's face when they had arrived home that day and found the creepy man waiting for her. Remembered her own fear at seeing her sister, usually so strong, now scared out of her mind. She had never completely understood the whole story, but all she knew for sure was that the man was bad and that it was Peter's fault he was there.

Darcy's face softened. "Look, Clare," she said, sitting down next to her on the bed. "I know it's hard for you to understand, but he's really a good person underneath. Most people are. You know how important forgiveness is."

"So forgive him," said Clare, "but that doesn't mean you have to DATE him."

"I'm dating him because I love him," Darcy burst out.

"What?" Clare heard her voice break, and she was close to crying in frustration. There's nothing more frustrating for a smart girl than a concept she cannot even begin to understand. "How on earth can you possibly love him?"

"You won't get it Clare," Darcy said. "Not yet. But someday, someday you'll be in love too and then you'll understand. You can't control it. It just happens. And when you love someone, you always give them second chances because you know they deserve a fresh start just as much as anybody else."

Clare had always looked up to her sister, but this one piece of advice made absolutely no sense to her whatsoever. She could never forgive someone who did something as awful as what Peter had done. And as for that "someday you'll understand," UGH. She hated when people said that. She didn't want to understand. But it didn't matter because she knew she never would.

Four years later, Clare was sitting in the same room on the same bed but this time Darcy was gone. This time, it was Clare's turn for teenage drama, and boy did she miss the good old of living vicariously through her big sister. Her mom had freaked out when she came to pick her up from the dance and seen police cars, and Clare had managed to mumble the story of Fitz and the knife, but that was it. She refused to respond to the rest of her mom's frantic questions, because she just couldn't think about it anymore. She couldn't think about HIM anymore.

She'd really thought Eli was different from the other boys in high school, more mature. That was one of the reasons she liked him. But there he was, acting like a 5-year-old, stubbornly continuing the stupid feud even after Fitz had told him he was willing to end it peacefully. He had put his life in danger; he had put HER life in danger. She wasn't sure which one she was more upset about.

Sure, Fitz was gone now; hopefully he would be in jail for a long time. But that didn't mean it would be over. What would happen if Eli kept fighting with every person who broke his car or called him a mean name? She couldn't handle that.

Plus, if he wasn't really as mature as she'd thought he was, what was to say he wasn't going to act like every other high school boy she'd known? What if he cheated on her, or dumped her for another girl like KC did? They would end up like every other messed up high school couple she knew, and between Darcy and Alli she knew quite a few.

No, she knew she was doing the right thing by not being with Eli. She would be better off without him, without a doubt.

But…

She couldn't help but hear Darcy's voice inside her head. "Someday you'll be in love too and then you'll understand. You can't control it. It just happens. And when you love someone, you always give them second chances because you know they deserve a fresh start just as much as anybody else."

Did she love Eli? No, that was stupid. She'd known him for less than a year.

But she liked him. A lot. No matter what stupid things he'd done, she couldn't deny it. And seeing Fitz come at him with the knife, she had thought for one crazy second that she did love him. But that was just in the heat of the moment, right? I mean, come on, she thought he was about to die. Of course she didn't really love him.

Yet.

But how could she know for sure if she didn't give him another chance?

After all, he really hadn't done anything awful to her. Certainly nothing as bad as what Peter did to Darcy, and she'd forgiven him. And Peter had forgiven Darcy too, after she'd moved away to Africa without warning him. She knew because of all the times he'd asked her about Darcy; he asked casually, of course, but she could hear the sadness in his voice. And even when she'd seen him with Mia, he'd never looked at her the way he'd looked at Darcy. Peter still loved her, Clare was sure, and judging by Darcy's equally casual inquiries about Peter in her letters, Clare was pretty sure she loved him too.

Darcy had always been her role model. Ever since she was little, Clare had tried to be like her. So why didn't she take her advice now? It was worth a shot, at least.

Clare picked up her phone and dialed the number, her heart racing. What if he didn't pick up? She was relieved when she heard Eli's familiar though tentative voice answer.

"Hi," she said. "I need to talk to you."


	2. Chapter 2

**So someone asked me to write a sequel to this, and to be honest, I really wanted to give Eli and Clare their happy ending too! So I added another chapter, it's not my best work so I apologize but I just really wanted to write it :)**

**Enjoy!**

"Yeah, of course," said Eli in a rush. His relief was evident, and he was so unusually unguarded of his emotions I couldn't help but smile. "What – what's up?"

"Not on the phone," I said. "I just – I wanted to talk to you now. I need to see you in person."  
"Okay. I'll be right over." Wait, what?

"Eli, it's 2 in the morning," I said, glancing at my lit up alarm clock.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you have plans?" He was smirking; I could practically hear it.

"Come on, my parents will kill me. Let's just meet tomorrow at the Dot, okay?"

"Okay, got it. Coming over now." There was a click.

"NO! Eli, what the - " but it was too late. I knew he had hung up.

I paced around my room, praying that my parents would be too fast asleep to hear his car drive up. Then I could just run quietly outside and tell him –

Oh, God. What was I going to tell him? I didn't have a plan! Quick, what was my plan?

Ten minutes later, I had written out the speech in the mind, though it still didn't sound good enough. Mrs. Dawes was right; I wasn't great at expressing myself in words.

Suddenly there was a loud clang on my window. I jumped assuming it was just an acorn or something being blown in the wind. But then it happened again. I pulled open the blinds. At first I didn't see a thing; it was too dark. But as soon as my eyes adjusted, my jaw legitimately dropped.

It was Eli. He was standing in my yard throwing freaking pebbles at my window. Near stabbings, police officers, hot guy throwing rocks at my window, all in one night? My life is a movie.

I pulled open the window. "What are you DOING?" I hissed.

He smiled. "Hey, Juliet. I was thinking about our English project, and how upsetting it was that we only got to do that one scene. I mean, there are so much better ones, right?"

Oh my God. He was reenacting Romeo and Juliet. This was not happening.

"My parents are going to hear you!" I couldn't help smiling, though.

"Clare," he said, suddenly growing serious. "I've been thinking about you all night. About the dance, about Fitz, about everything. And I want you to know that you were right. I know I should have let go of the feud, I know that now. I learned my lesson. I can't promise you I'll never act on my temper again, but I can promise that I'll try. I'll try really, really hard. Because I don't want to lose you, Clare. I never want to lose you. I came so close tonight, and I was terrified. Please don't let it happen again."

Yup. Life officially a movie. I could barely breathe. "I don't want to lose you either, Eli," I said, without even thinking about it. "I thought I was going to lose you too and I was so-" the words caught in my mouth and I had to swallow, "scared. I was so, so scared. Everyone deserves a second chance, Eli. That's why I called you."

He broke into a wild grin. "You're really giving me a second chance?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I closed the window and sprinted down the stairs. I threw open the door and ran barefoot across the dewy grass. He looked shocked to see me. I ran at him and before I could think or stop running or do anything my arms were around him and I was kissing him. And he was kissing me back and wow; I know our first two kisses were amazing but this one? This one was the best by a mile. Maybe clean slates are better than everybody thinks. I held him closer as he ran his fingers through my hair and we kissed and kissed and I didn't want it to end. I wanted to stand here in my bare feet kissing Elijah Goldsworthy for as long as I could.

"Thanks, Darce," I thought. "Thank you so, so much."


End file.
